did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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