Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Couch. On fire.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
