I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Rumble strips road head = magical
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
