There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
