6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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