mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
