I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
