Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
