You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize