I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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