If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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