ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
