Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
