fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize