my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
