it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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