I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
