Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
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