My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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