Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
