I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
