as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
