okay pat passed out under dana's car
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
