He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
