Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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