yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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