the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
