with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Maybe he injected his testicle?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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