the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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