i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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