How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
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