you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
