We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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