i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
