It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
