I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
