we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
