Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
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