i just wanna soil my oats bro
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
not ubering you a puppy
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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