My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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