just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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