I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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