She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
