I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
