when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
