I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
