we're chasing vodka with high fives
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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