I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
