So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
