Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
