The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize