question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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