you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
