Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
