Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Randomize