Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
