i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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