he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
