marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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