do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I've blown a few things in my day
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
