i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
