Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
