who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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