I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
