ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
