i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
