I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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