where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
