Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
so that wasnt chicken after all
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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